The big high school reunion was last weekend. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it. It was soooo lovely. I wasn't hugged that much at my own wedding, and it's no wonder I have a nasty cold now from all the kissing. Big juicy blubbery huggy lovefest. I'm so glad it was several days long. I cried when I left (and I left the party without saying goodbye to anyone, save for a handful) but I came home very satisfied... and exhausted. I only slept two hours on Saturday night, and I spent Sunday either flying or in airports from before sunrise until sunset. Bugghh. I feel horrible today, and am taking full advantage of the maturity of my students. "Hey guys, wanna do nothing today? Yeah? You got it." Done. *dusts hands* Of course, then I had three days' worth of sub damage to undo, but it was worth it.
I was worried that Sascha would give me the cold shoulder when I got home last night, but she said "MAMA!!" and tucked her little arms right into me the second I arrived. (A sidenote: she has just discovered my boobs-- have I mentioned this before? She checks 'em out all the time, saying "Mama's boobs" and she loves to put her hands down my shirt. Not unlike Nick. Woulda been nice if she was this fascinated by them when she was first born, but, eh.) She stuck to me all night. It was delicious.
Unrelated: after the election I got a series of e-mails from an old friend, lamenting our new president. It made me sick and sad; so much that my heart is pounding, just writing about it now. It honestly broke my heart to hear my old dear friend (friends! A second one joined her, to my utter shock) speak passionately about... well, things that I so strongly disagree with. Pro-business, anti-human beings (and anti-reality, if I may be blunt-- for example, private school for every kid is not realistic). It still hurts my heart, badly, and I am trying to come to terms with it. I had another friend from high school who became very conservative (despite having a few abortions) and we just couldn't get past our differences. She sends Christmas cards with pictures of her kids campaigning for Republicans and I just... I just can't do it. I can't get past it. It's so hard for me to just agree to disagree about some things. I can't do more than perfunctory Christmas cards, even though she is very sweet and I love her for the history we share. It's kind of fortunate that we live in different states, as do the two most recent friends, because there is no immediate pressure to get together in person and it's much easier to politely keep them at arm's length. It just makes me really sad. I just feel like the facts, especially from the past 8 years, are so big and so obvious that they are visible from space and people still don't see them. Like, "get the government out of our lives" so that we have financial anarchy, but when it comes to women's vaginas or gay relationships, things that don't affect anyone else, then it's fine? Defend the super rich (even though our chances of becoming super-rich are slim to none), but let's not have universal healthcare (even though our chances of needing it are 100%)? I don't want to get started on this because it's just going to make me angry and sad again, and I've felt that enough over this. I'm just bringing it up because it happened. And maybe some of you who are reading have lost friends over politics and you'd like to share your stories too.
I'm going to choose to fill my brain-space with glowing reunion memories. And my kid tucking her hands into my bra.
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The Object of My Insanity
She was singing. This picture makes my heart hurt.
Mama & Sascha
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- Abby
- New England, United States
- Former Pastry Chef... High School Science Teacher... Clueless Mother... Champion Complainer.
8 comments:
I know what you mean. I was reading a letter to the Philly Inquirer today, the gist of which was, "Everything had better go great or I am going to criticize Dems off the planet. When my guy was in office, you said he was stupid and a liar. Well, have a taste."
But ... he was stupid and a liar. So, that was just the truth, that was overwhelmingly obvious to those who watched, ah, the news, instead of amnesiatic talking points. Sometimes it seems like the GOP is full of pyramid schemers (not talking McCain, but rather his advisers and others) and they think we're all too stupid to run the numbers.
The sad part is, I've always liked McCain, too. Until this election cycle. I just read the Newsweek articles about the last few months and I feel so sorry for him personally.
Hi Abby, I read your blog often, even though I don't have any kids myself. I think your take on parenting is very honest and pretty humorous as well. I was compelled to comment on your latest blog since I have experienced the same thing you have with your friends, only for me it was my sister in law...when Obama was elected she went off on a rant saying some pretty awful things and we ended up arguing over politics... in the end I had to be the bigger one and just call a truce.. we had to agree to disagree. I will tell you what though... it has definitely left a bad taste in my mouth over the whole thing and if we weren't related by marriage I would probably never talk to her again..so I can understand your feelings. Just hang in there... people like that are just not worth moment of your energy.
Jennifer
maybe it was good the reunion happened AFTER the election. That way people were pretty wore out politically. Well, except for the highly MEAN people. i realize what you meant be MEAN people. Different comments of people in our local paper, but it's the MEAN ones that stand out, "i wouldn't vote for Obamah if you put a gun to my head!" wow, maybe he can find his.
Agree to disagree. Chose to try to educate and learn all sides.
hey, glad you got your nails done! and see how much Sascha loves her mommy!!!!
Abby,
Six days before the election, my family and my husband's family, which included his aunts and uncles and very young (8-9th graders) cousins, had dinner together to celebrate my daughter's 100th day of life. (It's a big deal in Korean culture.)
Politics came up because the restaurant we were eating at had a "Yes on Prop 8" (the California constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages) poster up near the restrooms. Then one of my husband's aunts, who I used to like quite a bit, went on about how Prop 8 has to pass because otherwise our children will be encouraged to be gay. Because the ads being run in California were targeting people like her (conservative Christian, has young children in schools), I almost could understand how she might be scared into buying into Prop 8. Then she actually said "you know, if gay sex is deemed to be okay, then they'll try to legalize the next natural step - beastiality." I about lost it. Her 8th grader nephew and 9th grader son argued against Prop 8 with infintely more logic. She means well, but I definitely lost a lot of respect for her and will not be discussing politics with her anytime soon. In fact, I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving when the whole lot of aunts and uncles who all were planning to vote Yes on 8 gloat over "God's victory over sinners." Yikes.
Hi Abby, I love your blog and your honest, witty comments on parenting. I just thought I'd comment that I generally disagree with your politics. I am a conservative-minded woman living in MA(now that's a challenge!) but that doesn't make me enjoy your writing or parenting stories any less. It really is so silly to let political views get in the way of friendship. Life is too short and when you die you are not going to think about who won the election, you are going to think about your friends and family. Be as passionate as you want to be about your political views but keep perspective as well. This kind of rigidity cannot be good for our country. Hopefully you don't bring this into the classroom and secretly reject students who don't share your views. Differences in opinion are critical to our country and our world and teaching our kids to respect all informed opinions should be a top priority. Thanks for hearing me out as I know I am the only one to comment who doesn't share your politics.
Dear Anonymous,
I appreciate you writing! You're brave. And I promise you, I am TRYING, really really hard, to listen to the other side. The problem is, 99% of the time, I don't feel like the opinions are, like you said, informed. That's what's infuriating. I had a student a few years ago who was very religious and openly rejected the theory of evolution. She was a very smart girl [otherwise] and one of my favorite students, but yeah, it did color my opinion of her a little bit. I'm a science teacher, and the rejection of facts is unacceptable to me. Rejection of facts, and then a reply of "well... that's just how I feel." Feelings do not make facts. For example, voting pro-life because you feel strongly about abortion. It is admirable to be anti-abortion (which I am, believe it or not-- it is horrible and tragic), but making it illegal will not make it go away. It will just make it more dangerous. In light of that fact, and the fact that it is not my place to make personal decisions for other people, I am pro-choice.
I am still having a very hard time with the friendship thing. This is a bad analogy, but it's like finding out that your friend likes to torture kittens for fun. There are some things that are just too hard to get past. Like if I got cancer and couldn't afford the treatments, my friend thinks that it's more important for the rich to get richer than for me to get the medical help I need. I can't get past that. And although the argument could be made that I don't have cancer (knock wood), plenty of people out there do. Poor people, who did nothing to bring it on themselves.
We have a responsibility as human beings to help other people and contribute to our communities, and I'm sorry if that sounds kumbaya, but no man is an island.
I could write for an hour about this. And as I said, I am trying really hard to see all sides, because that's what liberals do (which is why we're always seen as wimpy). Liberals are also often accused for not being "accepting" of all views, which we really try to be, but I have to draw the line at accepting bigotry, ignorance, and greed (things that have come out of my friend's mouth, not yours, and not all conservatives... but admittedly, most of the conservatives I've ever met).
I hope I haven't run you off. At least I'm not yelling at you like Bill O'Reilly. Heh.
Hi Abby!
I comment now and then (you'll remember me as "tell me why you want another baby" girl).
You haven't run me off, either. Although I'm a registered Republican, it's solely because Libertarian votes don't have enough footing to make any headway. So, I identify more closely with the GOP.
Basically, I could go either way on the civil rights issues. I advocate the government stepping back and Federalism. And I even agree that "no man is an island."
However, I draw a thick border between handing out and helping out. And I think a lot of Democrats (Dems for Obama, specifically) are looking for a handout. There was a clip of a woman on the news talking about how since Obama was elected, she wouldn't have to pay her rent or car payments anymore, etc-. I'm against giving to those who won't help themselves. That said, that's obviously not you.
I'm also against universal healthcare. I'm pro-healthcare reform, it's not good in its current state. However, talk to anyone who lives with it, and you'll understand that it comes with a boatload of problems. Capitalism and the competition that the free market brings is why the medical profession is driven to find cures and make progress - because it makes money. It might suck, but it's true. And it's why I can name off quite a few of my Canadian friends who seek medical care here because it's so sub-par there.
I could go on and on about this too, but I just wanted to give you the views of a conservative who happens to not be such a bad person. I'm informed, I'm intelligent, and conservative. It does happen. I know there are some bad eggs, but (as I pointed out about the gimme gimme lady), it happens to the Dems, too.
I hope you won't cast too much judgment on me about this. (That sounds religious, but I can assure you, I'm not - I'm agnostic, definitely not a part of the Religious Right). I hope you can maintain the friendships that only have minor disagreements. I can see where severance would be necessary with some of them, but it's worth trying to work around, I think.
Hi Amy! What can I say-- I am TREMENDOUSLY impressed. And I'm so glad you wrote, because it was hugely reassuring. I loved every word you wrote (except for that moronic woman who thinks Obama's going to pay her rent... oy-- made me rub my temples). You kick ass. I love to hear "opposing" viewpoints that are calm (you know, like mine-- har); without emotion and yelling. So much easier to listen. This country would be an amazing place if everyone argued like you.
I am working on the friendships. I fully acknowledge that this is MY issue, not theirs. I'm not looking to change them so that we can remain friends; rather, I'm looking to work on myself so that I won't shut them out.
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