Working on it

I'm trying to work on this the Tom Cruise way. No, not with Scientology, but with exercise and diet-- remember how that was his prescription for post-partum depression? I know, it was hysterical (and oh-so-misguided), but that's what I'm trying.

Not that I'm against drugs! I'm not. I've been on them. But that was in my pre-child days when I had all the time in the world to languish at shrink appointments. Also, I don't feel like this is bad enough for drugs. I know what that feels like, and this isn't it-- because with this, I get moments of good, usually when I'm running or teaching. Back then, I didn't. For like four months. I'll tell you the drug I need. I need the one my friend's neighbor is taking. The one that will have me super-productive all day. Seriously. Another friend said that her mom said the way they managed motherhood back in the '70s was that they were all on diet pills (my mother is going to be horrified to read this because that was absolutely not her). Unfortunately, they've changed the formula since then, so Dexatrim wouldn't help me now. Sigh.

So contrary to the liver-damaging fantasies I've had of 30-year-old speed, I've been eating crazy-healthy food and trying to keep up with the running. I've done lots of vegetarian dishes. One I tried to replicate from this place. I also make this chickpea masala that's so freakin' good it almost makes me cry. Just thinking about it makes me happy (and simultaneously sad that it's not in my mouth this very second). By the second day Nick was whining about missing meat. Sigh again. He bought himself a hunk of ham to keep his carnivorous urges afloat.

But hey! A week of this and I've lost a couple pounds! Hooray! It's tempting to quit now because I'm comfortable. I feel comfortable. After only a week I can't possibly look that different than I did a few weeks ago at Sascha's birthday dinner. Behold Ed Asner in the dark blue sweater.

That's not bagging around me. My waist is actually filling that up. I know. That ain't just a couple pounds. That being said, it's salmon with brown rice and broccoli tonight. Nick is thrilled. Except not.