Baby Happy, Baby Sad

(With apologies to Leslie Patricelli, who drew that fantastic series of books.)

First, Sad:

I'm sad that I pissed off one of my co-workers. She and I are friends. And because I hurt that stupid kid's feelings (see end of this post), now that kid has to be transferred into my co-worker's class. When the co-worker found out about it, she was pissed. I looked right at her and sincerely apologized. She huffed, left my room, marched down the hall and SLAMMED her door. We haven't spoken since, and I've been avoiding her. I know she's talking about me to the other girls in the department, so I feel I have to lay low with everyone now. It. SUCKS. I never wanted to teach this stupid biology class, I suck balls at it, and now this just adds a whole new layer of Disaster Stink to the situation.

I'm sad that I feel like a crappy, ineffective teacher lately. I've really been phoning it in.

I'm sad that I came up with this great idea to surprise Nick with something (that I can't write about because I still want to do it, and he reads this), and now there's a wrench in the works. I can't give more details but damn, it is a bummer.

I'm sad that my sister is having such a hard time with money and can't get a freakin' break. Girl needs a break.

I'm sad that lots of expensive things are starting to break in our house. My MP3 player (Nick and I are sharing his; it's 256 MB.) Our camera died. Our 3-year old $700 TV is almost dead. My glasses broke. The camera bothers me the most. I don't like that we have no record of the last six months of Sascha's life. And I wasn't able to take before & after pictures from my diet.

I've just felt sad overall lately. I want nothing more than to bundle up under a blanket with Nick and some popcorn and watch a zombie movie.

Now, Happy:

I'm working on this.

It's Friday. Extended family is coming to visit this weekend, which is always a great time.

I'm happy about my three mothers: the one who gave birth to me, because she lives four miles away and shares my brain; my mother-in-law, who can casually drop the word "clusterfuck" into a conversation with her Midwestern semi-drawl; and Rosie, who makes it her life's work to care about other people.

I started seeds for the garden (dammit, I am determined come hell or high water or credit card debt). I got my seeds from this catalog, which is pure gardening porn. The first time I saw it I was talking to the screen out loud. "Ohhhh...." "Oh my god, shut up!!" Those pictures.

The Swiss chard pasta (with tomatoes & smoked Gouda) I made last night made me very happy. Could have also been the wine or the silly kid sitting next to me. And she has been tentatively cool lately. I still walk on eggshells around her, but she's had a good couple of days.

Nick's sister is coming to visit in a week!

I am happy that I have students I like, who constantly make "that's what she said" jokes. "That's what she said" is almost never not funny. Makes me giggle like I'm 12.

Ahh, that helped. I'm feeling better. (That's what she said!)