I'm bleeding.
My dad says there's still hope. I think the hope is all his. I'll take the blood test tomorrow to confirm what I already know. This being my body, I know what's going on. I'm done. Again.
As I cried into Nick's chest again tonight, I couldn't stop thinking of my college roommate, whose wonderful husband is losing a long battle with cancer. Believe me, I am counting my blessings, but I'm still disappointed.
I'm sorry if you're family or a close friend and you're finding this out here. Do me a favor and don't call me. The long pauses punctuated with a sad "I'm sorry" is torture. I hope that doesn't sound insensitive. Also, please, PLEASE don't tell me not to tell anyone next time I get fake pregnant. I don't need any fingers wagged in my face right now. And I still don't regret telling.
Thanks.
Wine is waiting.
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The Object of My Insanity
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- Abby
- New England, United States
- Former Pastry Chef... High School Science Teacher... Clueless Mother... Champion Complainer.
6 comments:
Abby,
I have miscarried many times and everytime I get pregnant I tell people - because I figure I would have told people anyways so don't think twice about that - I still have hope for you too...
Sarah
Abby,
Thinking of you at this time. I have had 5 miscarriages early on and the miracle drug that saved my second to hang in there was low dose aspirin. So simple and easy and doesn't do any harm. 150mg a day (dubbed 'baby aspirin').
Anyway, the rollercoaster of emotions associated with a loss - even if it is early or late in the pregnancy, is a trip I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Keep us posted.
Kiwi Karen
And if you don't tell anyone, what happens to your pain and sadness? With warmest wishes - Kate in Australia
Kate and Kiwi Karen are right - miscarriages are horrible and I've been through it - no matter what week it is - people shrug it off but until you've been there you don't realize how painful it is and how much loss you feel...
Gutted for you, Abby.
If it's of any comfort, I bled often in the early days of pregnancy with my now 16 month old daughter. My fingers will remain tightly crossed that the bloods come back OK.
Until then, feel what you have to feel and let it out on here. With the ups come the downs and we'll always be here for both.
I'm sorry you are having bleeding...it's awful.
I had bleeding, spotting, clotting and pain through my pregnancy with my DS and he is now a 2.5 year old non stop wonder!
I will be thinking of you.
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